Tag Archives: family

East Coast Hugs

Posted on July 2, 2012 | 2 Comments

I wrote a short story for the end of the world, you know, that imminent 2012 thing that’s on some people’s minds? Anyway, in it, technology is worthless. No internet, no electricity, no running water, no gas pumps, no refrigerators or cell phones…

I sent it to my big sister to read through. Not one week later, she was caught in the storm that cut a swath across the Plains and ravaged the coast.

Sorry…

Big Sis was without power for 33 hours. I know many more people had it far worse. I also have some writer friends in the storm’s path and wanted to send warm wishes East, as well as to my writer friends in Colorado who are battling uncontrolled fires.

May you all stay safe.

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Posted in Real Life

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Pick Your Friends, Your Nose & Your Agent/Editor

Posted on May 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

This past weekend, we had the pleasure to attend our God Daughter’s confirmation.  Close family friends since the summer Dear Hubby and I got married, we adults have been through the births, baptisms and first birthdays of a total of seven kids.  Their oldest graduated three years ago.  Ours does in three weeks.

We’ve been blessed to have had such a wonderful and unfaltering friendship between our two families.  In fact, our collective kids consider each other cousins.  In this respect, we’ve proven the old adage wrong–you can pick your family.

Another myth I’d like to dispel is that writer’s can’t pick their agents, editors or publishers.  I believe we writers can become so starved to see our writing validated that we send queries or submission packages out to any and every breathing professional in the publishing industry.  We don’t consider the long-term impact of accepting offers from less than stellar representatives in the writing arena.

Due diligence, my friends.

Our quasi family has the same morals and values as we have.  They value family and faith.  They respect their children and have strong relationships with them.  They are kind and compassionate, honest and filled with integrity.  They’re fun-loving and generous.  They are the kind of people I’d choose for family.

Similarly, this kind of compatibility is possible within the publishing industry if we choose to do the work.  We must research our options, talk with agents and editors before signing with them and discuss future goals to make sure we’re all on the same page.

CAT’S GUIDE TO PICKING YOUR PUBLISHING PROFESSIONAL

  • KNOW YOUR NEEDS: Create a list of what you want and need from your professional.  Promotion, editing, submitting, validation, publishing, Best Seller sales…the list is endless, and specific to each writer.  Know what YOU need and want and why.  It may be vastly different than the writer in the next computer over.  And that’s a good thing.
  • RESEARCH: Sales, clients, policies.  Dig deep to find out what peeps are really saying.  And what they aren’t saying.  Go beyond Google and don’t be afraid of what you might find.  If you find yourself reluctant to read the dirt, then you’re not ready to pick your professional.  You need to KNOW what you need to know.
  • MATCH YOUR NEEDS TO YOUR RESEARCH: It is completely irrelevant what everyone else is doing and who they’re doing it with.  What’s important is how your professional fits with your needs and desires.  These things should fit together like puzzle pieces.

Once you figure out who you want and why, you can begin courting your professional.  Make your contacts meaningful.  Be a professional yourself.  Work harder and smarter to build a relationship with your chosen few.

What’s important to you in a publishing professional?  How do you research your prospective professionals?  How do you court them, and have you been successful in your endeavors to pick your professional?

Curious minds want to know.

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Posted in Parenting, Publishing Industry, Writing Queries and Submissions, Writing Tips

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Guest-imate Lists for Book Sales and Graduation Celebrations

Posted on March 20, 2012 | 4 Comments

Eldest graduates in two months.  I’ve been making lots o’ lists recently–the biggest and most important being the guest list.  This is followed by the food list, which will be followed by the grocery list, which is directly impacted by the guest list guest-imation.

What is the Guest-imation?

That estimation of which guests will and will not attend the celebration.  For example, graduation occurs on Memorial Weekend.  The First weekend of summer in our  neck of the words.  The First opportunity to hit the lake.  The First holiday in many moons.  I don’t expect all of our camping-loving guests to show up.

Likewise, my big sis (and her family) is counted with the Will Nots.  We will send her an invite/announcement, yet we know full well she will not be trekking 21 hours NorthWest on the very day her own Eldest graduates.

Guest List 4.

Food List 0.

When creating lists for book signings, release day parties and general estimations in sales (particularly for self-pubbed authors) we must keep in mind the Guest-imates.

Aunt Edna may love us, but will she really buy our violently steamy Paranormal Romance Horror novel?  Eh, unless your Aunt Edna is cooler than mine, her name is firmly etched at the top of the Will Not list.

Yet, we often fail to wrap our brains around this.  We find ourselves carried away by sheer numbers.  I have 2,170 Facebook friends and 185,000 twitter followers, 164 this, 4,001 that, 12 + 907 + plus plus….*

Guestimate what?  These peeps will not all buy my novel.  Period.  They will not all attend my Release Day Party–cyber or otherwise.  Neither will they all care.  I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true.  Just because we know someone doesn’t mean s/he will financially support our endeavors, provide a toast for first-born novel or eat from my dessert bar for Eldest’s graduation.

And that’s okay.  Perfectly, happily okay.  But, we need to accept this as fact.  We need to prepare ourselves for the reality that a guest list or friend list or twitter list or blog list does not automatically translate to sales numbers.

We also need to keep our cool when Aunt Edna–holding the number one slot on the Will list–actually does not.  Just because she passes on divine chocolate cheesecake or that fabulous historical novel written in the time period when she herself was a child, doesn’t give us a free pass to skip her 108th birthday celebration and snicker behind our hands when she’s not looking.

Bitterness and hurt feelings have no place at graduation parties or in the writing realm.  Life is not tit for tat.  It is not a tally of favors owed and favors received.  It is not a book purchased simply as insurance for a future sale of our own.

So be smart.  Create a Guest-imate list based on real life and not one on feelings.  Hopefully that will get my grocery list to a manageable level and your sales expectations more in line with reality.

How do you create your guest lists?  Have you ever grossly under or over estimated them?  How has this impacted you in the writing world or in real life?  What tips do you have for creating future lists or guest-imating the Wills and the Will Nots?

Curious minds want to know.

*I don’t really have this many friends–real or imagined.

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Posted in Publishing Industry, Real Life, Social Networking, Writing Life

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New Year. New Word.

Posted on January 1, 2012 | 6 Comments

I have a wonderful cyber friend who doesn’t write New Year’s Resolutions.  Instead, she picks a word that speaks to her and will motivate her throughout the upcoming twelve months and into the years beyond.

My word for 2012: Challenge.

As in the verb, because life holds enough challenge in the noun form.  It is a challenge to find time to write.  It is a challenge to stay in shape.  It is a challenge to be a good mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend and neighbor.  Doing life well is a definite challenge.

Which is exactly why I challenge myself to do better and be better in 2012.

I challenge myself to take my health seriously.  My genetic package is less than stellar, and so far I’ve cheated extra pant sizes by sheer luck alone.  Yet, thin and healthy are not synonymous.  High blood pressure, bad cholesterol levels and a history of heart disease loom in my future, as do obesity and diabetes.

I challenge myself to be a better writer.  Always a little on the ADD side of normal, I get lost in my own head on a regular basis.  I am a whimsical writer in the sense that I work on whichever project strikes my fancy.  So far it’s panned out, as I always have multiple projects in multiple stages that I can work on when the mood moves me.  However, I’m at a point where I shouldn’t take a year to spit-shine one manuscript.

This year, I challenge myself to be a better communicator.  Sometimes I leave things unsaid or say things I shouldn’t.  Conflict gives me the hives, so I confront it as little as possible.  Likewise, I’m a wishy-washy decision maker at best, which can frustrate even the most patient of souls.  The upside is that people think I’m sweet, if a little flighty.  The downside is…well, it’s unspeakable, and henceforth my need to communicate better becomes the utmost challenge.

I challenge myself to be a better wife and mother.  DH’s promotion comes with a change in time away from home and a different level of stress.  The end of the school year brings our first graduation and a new driver into the family.  It also burdens our calendar with more events as the little boys sample sports and develop their passions.  Long story short, getting lost in my own head for an entire day is no longer viable while raising a family of six.

Life is a challenge.  One I challenge myself to face with grace, dignity and determination.

Anyone else up for a challenge?  What one word describes your upcoming year?  What goals do you hope to accomplish?  What steps must you take to get there?

Curious minds want to know.

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Posted in Parenting, Real Life, Writing Life

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Posted on May 8, 2011 | 2 Comments

I hope your day was as relaxing and wonderful as mine.

I received a Hershey Kiss and decorated bar of soap from Middle Son and a beautifully, hand-crafted heart from Youngest. 

DH grilled shrimp, chicken kabobs and baby back ribs for dinner.

We all hung out together, shooting baskets, pulling weeds and just sharing the gorgeous day.

Life’s blessings are so small as to be overlooked, yet when they are added up, our days are nothing short of magical.

Hugs and best wishes to all the moms out there!

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A Note To Parents

Posted on March 9, 2011 | 7 Comments

Hug your babies each and every day.  No matter how old they get, no matter how much milk they spill or how many toys they forget to pick up, children are the single most precious gifts we have been given.

Never let your last words be angry or hurtful.

Never forget to praise their accomplishments.

Never let a day go by that you don’t show them just how much you care.

And never take them for granted, because one day, when you least expect it, they might be gone.

If you’re the kind to pray, please do so now for this unfortunate family.

My your day be filled with blessings.

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Crit Buddies: the Happy Meal of Writing

Posted on June 28, 2010 | 18 Comments

This past week/end was a blast.  DH had been scheduled for his yearly golf tourney up in Brainerd, but injured his neck and stayed behind.  Unlike his normal, workaholic self, he actually remained home on his already scheduled days off.  It was great to have him around and we got some odds and ends done.  Lots of relaxing too.

Middle son’s relay team placed 5th (out of 5) at the state track meet on Saturday.  He was so excited to stand on the podium to receive his award.  Eldest marched for band, while our Dear Daughter and Youngest walked the parade.  DD turned 14 and celebrated in style, while DH and I apparently adopted three teenaged children. 

All our kids are highly social, which means a lot of hosting.  Our food count for the weekend looked something like this:

  • 16 hamburgers
  • 36 cans of various drinks
  • 24 water bottles
  • 8 hotdogs
  • 2 brats
  • 3 large pizzas
  • 4 boxes of cereal
  • 1 butter braid
  • 1 angel food birthday cake
  • bags and bags of chips
  • bags and bags of veggies
  • cantelope, pasta salad & other filler foods too numerous to count

Oh, yeah.  And one Mc Donald’s run for Youngest.

“Dad, please take me to Mc Donalds.  I want a cheeseburger with only ketchup.”

“I’ll make you one.”

Youngest is stubborn and knows how to hold his ground.  After much finagling, the truth comes out. 

“Dad, your hamburgers are just a teensy, weensy bit…not as good,” Youngest says and holds his fingers together so they almost touch.  He smiles real big, trying for damage control.  “Everybody likes your hamburgers.  Grant and Davis.  Connor does and Lexi and Tyson.  Mom…”

Youngest ticks off names, his little eyes looking directly into DH’s.  He loves his Daddy and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.  “To them, your hamburgers are good.  To me…not so much.”

This refreshing honesty is exactly what I look for in a critique partner.  I love the truth.  It’s the only thing that helps me grow as a writer. 

Thankfully, I have a group of critters that gives me what I need.  Two are outstanding Beta Readers.  Another is my Comma Queen.  She makes last minute polishing a dream.  And just recently, I hooked up with another Minnesota writer who has proven to be an outstanding critiquer.  He’s young (by my ancient standards) and has a fresh perspecive.  He’s also not afraid to tell it like it is.

“Everything sounded really good up to here.  This part just doesn’t work for me.  Flesh it out.  Give more detail.  This sounds off.”

I love it.  My critters are the best Happy Meal around.

Is it important to have a well-rounded critique group, or is that akin to too many cooks at the fry basket?  Which type of reader is the hardest to find?  Which ones are the most valuable to you, and why?   

Now let’s go get a hamburger!

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Light Your Writing Fire

Posted on May 24, 2010 | 12 Comments

Friday night arrived with an impromptu party for our teens.  Part of the celebration included a bonfire in our outdoor fire place.  We simply lit the kindling under the stacked wood and walked away, allowing it to burn beautifully for hours.

Not all fires are that easy to care for, however.  Over the years, I’ve built more fires than I can count and have learned a thing or two in the process.  Like the fact that bonfires are a lot like writing. 

Of course they are.  But how?

  1. All good fires start with tinder–the little spark that burns hot and fast with the sole purpose of igniting the kindling.  A story simply cannot be written without an idea. 
  2. Kindling.  These small sticks nurture the flames.  They are subplots and character sketches, setting and conflict and dialogue.  They are little snippets of ideas that gain strength as they grow, united in their journey to create a unique and beautiful story.  Every story, like every fire, needs to be nurtured and fed.  
  3. Wood.  Once we have a fire started, we layer on logs–small ones at first, followed by large, sustaining ones.  This is our writing–our very words that we commit to paper.  For ideas and outlines, no matter how awesome they may seem, are nothing until they are put down on paper.  No words=no fire, and we are left with nothing more than a brief flash of something great that will never be realized. 

So now we have a magical spark, a grand plan and some words.  You may think we have succeeded,  yet with the utmost assurance as a bonfire master, I can tell you these components are merely tools for making a good fire.  We can build our framework around them and still end up without a place to cook marshmallows.  Why? 

The single most important factor in building a fire is a good draft.

If a firebox or chimney doesn’t draft well, a fire will splutter, smoke and die out.  A fire built right on the ground faces a similar demise without the circulation of fresh air.  All fires require a good draft, yet not all fire pits or fire places provide a good supply.  When this happens, we spend more time tending the fire than enjoying the soothing crackle of the wood and the sticky sweetness of s’mores.

Likewise, our writing needs similar care. 

And I don’t necessarily mean an outline or a rough draft.  I mean it in the truest sense of a bonfire.  A draft is that breath of life.  It is the air that feeds the flames.  It alone keeps our fire crackling.  Without a good draft, we have nothing more than a pile of tinder, kindling and logs. 

How do you ensure your writing has an adequate supply of fresh air?  How do you feed and nurture the flames of an idea so your story doesn’t splutter and die out halfway through?

And have you had a s’more yet?  I haven’t, but I can hardly wait for the weekend when I know a bonfire, marshamallows and sweet chocolate await me.

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